Demetri Martin - NYU Law alumni. Wow. NYU Law is one heck of a magical place..

There Is No ‘I’ In Denial

"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the hell is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!.’" 

"I like the beach. I like to get there really early before everyone else shows up and take like thirty bottles with notes in them and throw them into the water. Then I wait for everyone to come to the beach and when someone goes to pick up one of the bottles, I go up behind them because when they open it there’s a note saying ‘I’m standing right behind you.’" 

cozmicnilie happy 21st



Does Revenge Really Exist

can you fix a hole in your heart

with the swing of your fist